Becoming a father has made me look at my parents differently. Growing up in a strict Asian household, there was discipline, structure and an expectation to succeed. At times, it felt as though there was little room to make my own choices. Now, as I raise Olivia, I understand more of what sat behind those decisions. My parents were not trying to control my life. They were trying to prepare me for it, using the knowledge and circumstances available to them. They wanted their children to have a better life than they had. They did not get everything right, and neither will I, but parenthood has taught me to judge them with more context, compassion and gratitude.
What I want to pass on to Olivia is passion: the courage to live fully, pursue what matters to her and occasionally colour outside the lines. What I want to end with me is the habit of assigning blame, including the blame I place on myself. I want her to understand that actions have consequences, disappointment does not remove love and failure does not diminish who she is. My role is not to dictate the direction of her life, but to give her strong foundations and the confidence to choose it for herself. If she tells me she wants to fly, I do not want to be the father who reminds her that penguins cannot. I want to be the father who helps her discover how.
Casual chats, real conversations. We’re the two mates: Vincent and Andrew, and you’re the half, listening in.
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