I’ve been thinking a lot about happiness lately, not the Instagram version of happiness, where everything looks perfect, but the kind you actually feel when you sit quietly with your own life. I can be tired, nervous about what is coming next, dealing with problems at work and still genuinely say that I am happy. For me, happiness is not the absence of difficulty; it is the feeling that I am where I am supposed to be, doing something that matters, and living in a way that leaves as little room for regret as possible. Money, health, achievement and comfort absolutely contribute to our wellbeing, and I don’t believe we should pretend otherwise. But they are not happiness by themselves. One idea from this conversation stayed with me: success is having what you want, while happiness is wanting what you have. Perhaps the real pursuit of happiness begins when we stop treating happiness as the prize waiting for us after the next achievement and start seeing it as something we can choose and cultivate along the way.
So what actually helps? Stephen and I came back to five remarkably simple things: connect, be active, take notice, keep learning and give. Connection is not about collecting followers; it is about feeling known and valued, and sometimes it can be as simple as messaging someone you haven’t spoken to in years. Being active doesn’t mean becoming an athlete—it can mean moving your body or keeping your mind curious. Taking notice means slowing down long enough to actually smell the coffee, look at the night sky or appreciate the tiny moments we normally rush past. Keep learning, because curiosity keeps life expanding. And finally, give—not necessarily money, but your time, experience, support or even a few thoughtful words. I think we spend so much of life waiting for the big moment that will finally make us happy that we risk missing hundreds of small happiness moments happening right in front of us. Maybe happiness is not something we eventually find. Maybe it is something we practise.
After Hours is where science gets personal. Hosted by Dr Vincent, your friendly neighbourhood scientist and Stephen!
🔔 Subscribe so you never miss an episode
📩 Weekly newsletter every Sunday at AskDrVincent.com
📺 Full video episodes every Thursday after 5pm
Let’s be mates!
